Category Archives: Blonde

Stranded on a desert island

A blonde, a brunette and a readhead are stuck on an island. For years and years they live there, until one day they find a magic lamp. They rub and rub and sure enough out comes a genie. The genie says “since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one.”

The brunette goes first, “I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life– I just want to go home” … POOF she is gone.

The the red head makes her wish “This place sucks, I want to go home too” … POOF she is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie says to her “My dear what is the matter, “I wish my friends were here” … POOF!!

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Blonde Car Accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, “When you weren’t looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!”

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Are You Really Sure?

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6′ tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2″, weighs 225, and he’s a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6’5″ pushing 300 and he’s a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”

The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

via Aha! Jokes > Blonde Jokes > Are You Really Sure?.

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I Want to Buy That

A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn’t serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn’t serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn’t serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, “How in the world do you know I am a blonde?”

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,”That’s not a TV — it’s a microwave!”

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A Blonde’s Flight To Chicago

A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago, when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open seat in the first class section. A flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must return to her seat in the economy class because that’s the type of ticket she paid for.Dumb Blonde

The blonde woman replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.”

After repeated attempts and no success convicing the woman to return to economy, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there’s a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.

“The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, “You say she’s blonde? I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I speak blonde.

” He kneels down next to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, “Oh, I’m sorry,” then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

“I told her first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

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Blonde Joke

What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

“Is it mine?”

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Confused Blondes

Q How do you confuse a blonde?

A Stick her in a round room and tell her to stand in the corner.

Q How do you know when a blonde has been on the computer?

A There’s tip-ex all over the screen.

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Blondinen

Eine Blondine bestellt eine Pizza. Der Ober fragt,

ob er sie in 6 oder in 12 Stücke aufteilen soll.

Darauf die Blondine: “6 bitte. Ich könnte niemals 12

verdrücken!”

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Blondinen

Warum ist eine Blondine total happy, wenn sie ein

Puzzle in nur 6 Monaten gelöst hat?

Weil auf der Packung steht: “2 – 4 Jahre”

 

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Blondinen

Eine Brünette und eine Blondine gehen durch einen

Park. Plötzlich sagt die Brünette: “Kuck mal, ein

toter Vogel”.

Die Blondine sieht zum Himmel und fragt: “Wo?”

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